Showing posts with label The Law. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Law. Show all posts

Wednesday, 20 November 2013

Who Shot the Sherriff - The Law vs Teraton Avalanches Week 3

Thonk here with an exciting write up of last nights Outpost League match between "The Law" and "Teraton Avalanches"


The Law started things off badly with No.3 "Riot" causing little more than an angry gesture towards the Teraton defensive line up. No. 1 Sheriff decided to show him how it should be done and proceeded to injure three Teratons, two would return in a couple of rushes but one was turtle soup.

The Avalanches responded in true Angry Teleporting fashion with a Teleport and Slam into the rear of  "Fuzz" the Jack injuring him for two rushes. Their No. 3 Sprinted towards the ball with far to much velocity and instead of picking up the ball the giant turtle ended up spilling it straight at Law Striker "Pursuit" and he makes a safe catch to take hold of the ball.

"Sheriff" assisted by his "Deputy" tries a double whammy on another poor turtle but only manage to push the Guard back a hex. Meanwhile "Pursuit" takes off down the pitch with speed only to end up falling over his ting legs right under a Avalanche and in the 3 Point Zone.

Another Slam in the back of "Deputy" takes him out for two. While Turtle No. 3 goes for the ball "Pursuit" just dropped, but in his anger smashes the ball into tiny pieces causing the ball to be re launched with no time left on the rush clock.

On came "Fuzz" to help even the numbers for The Law but fails to do much damage to the Avalanches players with a weak slam. Striker "Pursuit" leaps up from prone and retreats as quick as he can from the towering guard bearing down on him. Meanwhile team mate "Long Arm" sprints for the ball and runs and throws a 2 point strike to Take the Law into the Lead.

Seeing red the Teratons slam "Long Arm" hard but showing that Forge Fathers aren't all slow, he ducks and weaves past all blows. All that ducking and weaving distracted "Long Arm" for long enough for another slam to hit him in the back which knocked him to the floor, where the dastardly Turtles stomped him all the way to the bench. Thank the Forge Fathers armour for saving his body from painting the pitch red. While all that stomping and slamming was going on, a sneaky looking Teraton Jack flung the ball and scored a 2 point strike to tie the game once again.

Then the Laws luck ran quickly out of town. Sheriff unable to muster his earlier strength failed another slam and put himself in a dangerous position with his back to a Teraton Guard and team mate "Fuzz" completely fuzzed the ball giving away the rush to the even angrier looking Avalanche's.

Then it came like a falling river of snow and ice, or an Avalanche some may say. The slam to the back came as predicted and poor "Sheriff" could do nothing as his armour was crushed with him inside and he was quickly sent to Securicorps med bay to see if they could revive him. Without Guards to hold the line the Teratons soon snuck in a 4 pointer and with only a rush to go it fell to The Laws jacks to try and get the job done. Unfortunately with the lost of their leader they fell apart fumbling the ball and preparing to defend them selves one last rush.

In the end the Teratons went for the smashing way to finish a match but the Law held tight losing no more players and grinding out a loss to 4 points. The Law haven't fluffed this badly since Police Academy 5 and that's saying something. Meanwhile The Avalanches are sat looking like they have themselves a new theme tune "I shot the Sheriff" By Bob Marley and The Wailers if they can dig it out of storage.

Medical reports from The Law camp say that unfortunately during the operation to revive him and following the trauma "Sheriff's" muscle had wasted away too much for him to support his own body weight and he passed away on the table. Rumours are now spreading of a certain "project M.U.R.P.H.Y" that Securicorp have been working on which may have found it's guinea pig cadaver.





Wednesday, 30 October 2013

Season 3 Lineup - Coaches Contacts

With the fixtures for the whole league now sent to coaches its high time we gave all you Dreadball fans a rundown of the teams competing for the biggest Dreadball League this side of the Trent gulf.


So in no particular order... (forum name is in brackets)

Roaring Riptides - Steel Division
Coach - Adrain Mills (AdrianMills)
Type - Corporation (Sirens)
The Riptides are a new team with a coach new to league play. We have seen how these girls roll in what was an epic cat fight for the wooden spoon in Punter Bowl a few months ago. Are these girls ready to Roar into the lead in this Season or will they be out with the tide?

The New Zoal All Hacks - Steel Division
Coach - Ben Ryan (ScewbylikeAsir)
Type - Corporation (29ers)
Another new coach in the Steel division could make for some great action this season. The flexibity of the Corporation team will grant a helpful introduction into league play, but can they build on it to take top spots or will they just be another hack?

I.C.E. Devils - Steel Division
Coach - Simon Blakemore (Simon)
Type - Forge Fathers
A Veteran of the Outpost League. Mr Blakemore has returned for a 3rd season with a new team. Forge Fathers seem to be back on the rise again after suffering during Seasons 1 and 2. Can Simon breathe new life into the little men or will the new rookies in his division put a chill on their success?

The Law - Iron Division
Coach - Chris Blackburn (chrisbburn)
Type - Forge Fathers
Back with Forge Fathers, although definatly not the same team he lost everything with in Season 1. The Law are a force to be reckoned with especially in a division of rivals like the Iron Division. Will these self proclaimed upholders of justice show their bitter rivals the error of their ways or will in be a night in the can for The Law?

Laniidae Shrikes - Iron Division
Coach - Chris Daubney (I AM MOGAR!)
Type - Corporation (Sirens)
After two seasons coaching the Beasts to become the fan favorites and putting plenty of strikers in the ICU. Coach Daubney has hung up his Beasting gloves in favor of the pesky Sirens play style. Will this change allow him to finally win a league instead?

Tribbiani CHUMS - Iron Division
Coach - James Taylor (jimmi)
Type - Zees
After a Landslide win with The Tuscan Swordfish in Season 2 and a overall win at Punterbowl with the Mighty Dorks, seems like Coach Jimmi is looking for a new challenge and they come in form of a troupe of cloned mini monkeys. Sure to bring chaos and confusion but can this veteran clone another win or will he slip on a banana skin?

Osaka Squids - Copper Division
Coach - Will Hopkins (Jaggedlilwill)
Type - Nameless
Another Veteran coach returning with a new season 3 team. Will has played in all the Outpost events and has plenty of experience winning with different teams and now he is trying his hand at the Nameless - A team that has been mentioned [perhaps somewhat prematurely - ed] as the Judwan of season 3 either way they look a very powerful team can Will make them winners or just damp squid?

Blueskin Krumpers - Copper Division
Coach - Daniel Haslem (vorpalhit)
Type - Marauders
Back for another season after taking the plunge with a Forge Father team in season 2 where he racked up some impressive stats for the then lost cause Forge Fathers including breaking the Tuscan Swordfish in a landslide victory. Dan is back for more with another Season 1 team and the only Marauders team in the league which puts them in great posistion for the bloodiest team this time round, or will they get themselves krimped?

Teraton Avalanches - Copper Division
Coach - Tom Silcock (Tom_Uk)
Type - Teraton
Our final team and another veteran member of the outpost league. Tom is backing the Teratons this season and by all acoounts in pre season games they are a force to worry about. They hit like giant teleporting turtles that are angry, very angry. You're going to see some bloody games in the Copper division and I think Turtles might come out on top unless someone can give them a serious shredding.

And so thats the line up, The league begins on Monday who is going to get first blood/strike/win?

Stay tuned to the Punter.

Thursday, 24 October 2013

The Law

Coach
JD Read

Species:
Forge Fathers

Players:
Sherriff
Riot
FiveO
K-9
Fuzz
Deputy
Long Arm
Pursuit

Tactics:
Laying down the Law. They are the Law. Use of "Rapid Fire" and "Double Whammy"

History:
Following their terrible first season, A Forge Father team known as The Arkand Ramz returned to Arkand Training Facilities for a debrief, and in what seems to be a completely random act of violence the facilities were attacked by Anti Corporation Rebel Forces.

In the following fire fights, in which Ramz Captain "Rampage" managed to kill off 4 rebels (something he failed to do on pitch) all of the Ramz Personnel were killed or captured. The rebel forces then proceeded to use the facility as a FOB to conduct raids on the Arkand Corp Mining Stations (Arkand supply most of the Corporations Titan Weapons Grade Alloy) and held the Ramz players and coaches to ransom.

Meanwhile the Council of Seven concluded that the loss in production could not be ignored and a tender was published for the return of the Arkand Facility and restoration of full production levels.

Enter SecuriCorp, the galaxies finest in World Security and Law enforcement. These guys stepped in all too quick and eager say some Die Hard Ramz fans.

They were efficient - Within 3 Days all rebels had suspiciously disappeared. Now released from their captors, but without an owner or corporation to pay the wages The Arkand Ramz seemed destined to be a team best forgotten. And so ended the Arkand Ramz...........

But with so much speed that no one is under any illusion as totheir origins SecuriCorp announced they would be funding the creation of a new Dreadball team to bring order to the pitches. They would be called "The Law". Coached by the formidable PT Team at SecuriCorps state of the art Training and Correction facilities. Coach Captain J D Read, Serg K Nuckles and Officer M Urphy insist upon the highest standards backed up by "Cheerleaders" (Civil Enforcement Officers) to ensure the crowd is on their side of "The Law".

In recent released training footage The Law can be seen pulling off trade mark "Ramz" plays such as the often not successful passing game now called "Rapid Fire" and some strong defensive plays such as "Double Whammy" if you listen carefully to the team huddles you can just make out the faint chant of "For Rampag.. 

- TRANSMISSION TERMINATED -

Wednesday, 25 September 2013

We're Back! Outpost League Season 3 Preview Preview


 photo ThonkandWalker_zps3991f6c0.jpg

Re-introducing your favourite pundits Garry "Golden Boy" Walker and Thonk "The Thinker"

[Garry] That’s right sports fans thanks to "Sir" Gerald Dorksworth, we are free and back on the holo-vids.

[Thonk] Garry there is no way you can think that we are going to be free - it's going to be a Mighty Dorks songs of praise from here on.

[Garry] Thonk, we've talked about this - Gerald Dorksworth is a fine upstanding pillar of the community. *Cough*

[Thonk] In the interest of staying on the air I will shut up.

[Garry] A wise idea my clever green friend. Well on with the show.

[Thonk] We are here for a preview of our season preview, mainly because teams cannot seem to work out their own identity.

[Garry] Season 3 is set to be huge Thonk, maybe all these GIANTS are scaring the coaches of previous seasons into changing their approach.

[Thonk] Or just their name as the newly christened 'The Law' seem to have done. How anyone has been taken by this new team is beyond me - the only thing different between them and the Arkand Ramz is that The Law seem to be able to win.

[Garry] Thonk, we've only just closed a legal case let’s not start again. But I can see where you might get that idea. In other news rumours have it that The Kilika Beasts, season 1 and 2 fan favourite’s will not attempt to hold their status as Brutes and Thugs in season 3 - what can this mean?

[Thonk] I think Beasts chairman Chris Daubney has got bored of writing condolences to the unfortunate victims of a "Beasting"

[Garry] Well I am sure that his new team The Laniidae Shrikes will be equally entertaining - just a little more on the human side.

[Thonk] Other teams we have heard rumours of are the Titan Wasps, the League of Super Villains and the Osaka Squids. As always we will have more news as soon as we have it.

[Garry] And during Season 3 we will be bringing all the high speed action and analysis you came to expect before ARC Corporation tried to shut us down.

Tuesday, 24 September 2013

Dorks run away with PunterBowl 2013 victory

They said that an Orx team coached by a has-been human would never see glory, they were wrong!

The Mighty Dorks fought their way to a spectacular landslide victory in this Sunday's PunterBowl tournament at the Outpost without taking a single casualty.

That's not to say they had an easy run, during the group games the Dorks were matched step for step by last seasons winners, the Kilika Beasts. Unfortunately for the Beasts, they went down in the quarter finals to a landslide victory to the Dorks and finished up in a respectable 3rd place.

Despite a win percentage of just 66% the group game underdogs, Veermageddon made a meteoric recovery - fighting their way to a close 2nd place in the finals and narrowly missing out on the title by a mere 2 strikes.
Perhaps most surprising of all was a mid table finish for The Law. A team typically characterised by their epic fails, who's only record to date has involved shoe laces tied together and two left feet. Perhaps this signals great things to come from The Law, or maybe Digby need to investigate claims of match fixing. Only time will tell.

The final tournament standings were as follows:

Gold - Mighty Dorks
Silver - Veermageddon
Bronze - Kilika Beasts
4th - Bugsby Beatles
5th - The Law
6th - Ulfgars' Granite Hearthguard
7th -Antillean Angels
Wooden Spoon - Roaring Riptides