Showing posts with label Match Report.. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Match Report.. Show all posts

Wednesday, 20 November 2013

Who Shot the Sherriff - The Law vs Teraton Avalanches Week 3

Thonk here with an exciting write up of last nights Outpost League match between "The Law" and "Teraton Avalanches"


The Law started things off badly with No.3 "Riot" causing little more than an angry gesture towards the Teraton defensive line up. No. 1 Sheriff decided to show him how it should be done and proceeded to injure three Teratons, two would return in a couple of rushes but one was turtle soup.

The Avalanches responded in true Angry Teleporting fashion with a Teleport and Slam into the rear of  "Fuzz" the Jack injuring him for two rushes. Their No. 3 Sprinted towards the ball with far to much velocity and instead of picking up the ball the giant turtle ended up spilling it straight at Law Striker "Pursuit" and he makes a safe catch to take hold of the ball.

"Sheriff" assisted by his "Deputy" tries a double whammy on another poor turtle but only manage to push the Guard back a hex. Meanwhile "Pursuit" takes off down the pitch with speed only to end up falling over his ting legs right under a Avalanche and in the 3 Point Zone.

Another Slam in the back of "Deputy" takes him out for two. While Turtle No. 3 goes for the ball "Pursuit" just dropped, but in his anger smashes the ball into tiny pieces causing the ball to be re launched with no time left on the rush clock.

On came "Fuzz" to help even the numbers for The Law but fails to do much damage to the Avalanches players with a weak slam. Striker "Pursuit" leaps up from prone and retreats as quick as he can from the towering guard bearing down on him. Meanwhile team mate "Long Arm" sprints for the ball and runs and throws a 2 point strike to Take the Law into the Lead.

Seeing red the Teratons slam "Long Arm" hard but showing that Forge Fathers aren't all slow, he ducks and weaves past all blows. All that ducking and weaving distracted "Long Arm" for long enough for another slam to hit him in the back which knocked him to the floor, where the dastardly Turtles stomped him all the way to the bench. Thank the Forge Fathers armour for saving his body from painting the pitch red. While all that stomping and slamming was going on, a sneaky looking Teraton Jack flung the ball and scored a 2 point strike to tie the game once again.

Then the Laws luck ran quickly out of town. Sheriff unable to muster his earlier strength failed another slam and put himself in a dangerous position with his back to a Teraton Guard and team mate "Fuzz" completely fuzzed the ball giving away the rush to the even angrier looking Avalanche's.

Then it came like a falling river of snow and ice, or an Avalanche some may say. The slam to the back came as predicted and poor "Sheriff" could do nothing as his armour was crushed with him inside and he was quickly sent to Securicorps med bay to see if they could revive him. Without Guards to hold the line the Teratons soon snuck in a 4 pointer and with only a rush to go it fell to The Laws jacks to try and get the job done. Unfortunately with the lost of their leader they fell apart fumbling the ball and preparing to defend them selves one last rush.

In the end the Teratons went for the smashing way to finish a match but the Law held tight losing no more players and grinding out a loss to 4 points. The Law haven't fluffed this badly since Police Academy 5 and that's saying something. Meanwhile The Avalanches are sat looking like they have themselves a new theme tune "I shot the Sheriff" By Bob Marley and The Wailers if they can dig it out of storage.

Medical reports from The Law camp say that unfortunately during the operation to revive him and following the trauma "Sheriff's" muscle had wasted away too much for him to support his own body weight and he passed away on the table. Rumours are now spreading of a certain "project M.U.R.P.H.Y" that Securicorp have been working on which may have found it's guinea pig cadaver.





Wednesday, 13 November 2013

Blueskin Krumpers vs The New Zaol All Hacks (Week 2)

From the point of view of a blue gobbo.

It seems the Blueskin Gods are not with these All Hacks. When things were going well then Karma came back to hit them in the face.
This started when All Hacks punched a Orx guard into the recovery bay and the crowd went so wild so wild that the resonate frequency of the crowds stomping matched the shatter frequency of the dreadball exactly thus shattering it to pieces, just as the All hacks had a 3 point strike set up, how unfortunate.
Later a great play by a Blueskin gobbo gave the Blueskins a 3 Point lead and command of the game. The blueskins tried to take the win quickly after with a 4 point strike attempt but Blueskin fans worried that they wouldn't see any blood this match booed so much that it put the poor blighter off and he promptly missed.
A quick huddle saw the Blueskins go back to their Krumping ways and had the fans on their feet by killing off to poor All Hacks.
The Krump Nations baying for more blood even drowned out the cheers from the Kiwis fans as they clawed back 2 points.
Spurred on by the calls for slams and sucker punches the Blueskins forged on and took victory in style with a perfected executed 4 point strike in the dying moments of the game.


Daily Punter has reached out to The All Hacks Camp to get a counter view of the game. No news yet but when we have it you can be sure that you will hear it here first.

If you have match reports you would like to see on the Daily Punter please send details to Thonk and Walker.