Wednesday, 20 November 2013

Who Shot the Sherriff - The Law vs Teraton Avalanches Week 3

Thonk here with an exciting write up of last nights Outpost League match between "The Law" and "Teraton Avalanches"

The Law started things off badly with No.3 "Riot" causing little more than an angry gesture towards the Teraton defensive line up. No. 1 Sheriff decided to show him how it should be done and proceeded to injure three Teratons, two would return in a couple of rushes but one was turtle soup.

The Avalanches responded in true Angry Teleporting fashion with a Teleport and Slam into the rear of  "Fuzz" the Jack injuring him for two rushes. Their No. 3 Sprinted towards the ball with far to much velocity and instead of picking up the ball the giant turtle ended up spilling it straight at Law Striker "Pursuit" and he makes a safe catch to take hold of the ball.

"Sheriff" assisted by his "Deputy" tries a double whammy on another poor turtle but only manage to push the Guard back a hex. Meanwhile "Pursuit" takes off down the pitch with speed only to end up falling over his ting legs right under a Avalanche and in the 3 Point Zone.

Another Slam in the back of "Deputy" takes him out for two. While Turtle No. 3 goes for the ball "Pursuit" just dropped, but in his anger smashes the ball into tiny pieces causing the ball to be re launched with no time left on the rush clock.

On came "Fuzz" to help even the numbers for The Law but fails to do much damage to the Avalanches players with a weak slam. Striker "Pursuit" leaps up from prone and retreats as quick as he can from the towering guard bearing down on him. Meanwhile team mate "Long Arm" sprints for the ball and runs and throws a 2 point strike to Take the Law into the Lead.

Seeing red the Teratons slam "Long Arm" hard but showing that Forge Fathers aren't all slow, he ducks and weaves past all blows. All that ducking and weaving distracted "Long Arm" for long enough for another slam to hit him in the back which knocked him to the floor, where the dastardly Turtles stomped him all the way to the bench. Thank the Forge Fathers armour for saving his body from painting the pitch red. While all that stomping and slamming was going on, a sneaky looking Teraton Jack flung the ball and scored a 2 point strike to tie the game once again.

Then the Laws luck ran quickly out of town. Sheriff unable to muster his earlier strength failed another slam and put himself in a dangerous position with his back to a Teraton Guard and team mate "Fuzz" completely fuzzed the ball giving away the rush to the even angrier looking Avalanche's.

Then it came like a falling river of snow and ice, or an Avalanche some may say. The slam to the back came as predicted and poor "Sheriff" could do nothing as his armour was crushed with him inside and he was quickly sent to Securicorps med bay to see if they could revive him. Without Guards to hold the line the Teratons soon snuck in a 4 pointer and with only a rush to go it fell to The Laws jacks to try and get the job done. Unfortunately with the lost of their leader they fell apart fumbling the ball and preparing to defend them selves one last rush.

In the end the Teratons went for the smashing way to finish a match but the Law held tight losing no more players and grinding out a loss to 4 points. The Law haven't fluffed this badly since Police Academy 5 and that's saying something. Meanwhile The Avalanches are sat looking like they have themselves a new theme tune "I shot the Sheriff" By Bob Marley and The Wailers if they can dig it out of storage.

Medical reports from The Law camp say that unfortunately during the operation to revive him and following the trauma "Sheriff's" muscle had wasted away too much for him to support his own body weight and he passed away on the table. Rumours are now spreading of a certain "project M.U.R.P.H.Y" that Securicorp have been working on which may have found it's guinea pig cadaver.

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