Tuesday, 24 September 2013

The Daily Punter Returns

After a lengthy hiatus everyone's favorite hard hitting Dreadball news resource returns courtesy of a timely buyout by controversial Digby exec Gerald Dorksworth.

Fans of the Mighty Dorks will recognise Dorksworth as the affluent benefactor who bought them out two seasons ago, transforming the teams fortunes within a matter of weeks.

As readers will be aware, the Punter ran into legal difficulties during the Season One Outpost league, where it incorrectly reported the death  of ARC Assets striker Vasquez.

ARC Corporation demonstrated their famous ruthless attitude and the following law suit funded by the ARC Corporation crushed the Punter in the courts, and the resulting 60 Bzillion Credit fine left us lying in the gutter. Fortunately a last minute buyout by Mr. G Dorksworth proved to be a timely intervention.

Asked about his recent acquisition, Dorksworth had the following comment to make: "The 'Punter has always suffered from a sort of amateurish feel to it. Now with my help, and my mega creds, I can finally turn this holo-paper into the cash cow it was supposed to be."

When questioned about the ethics of a DGB executive owning not only a team, but also controlling the news Dorksworth replied: "I've never forced anyone into anything. I didn't expect any breaks in life, nor did I ask for any. I have never pushed my commercial interests onto anyone."

Dorksworth's other recent acquisitions include the 80 Bzillion-Squillion Credit Gerald Dorksworth Community Dorkadium.